The Death of my Best Friend
Michelle was my beautiful and wonderful best friend.
Metastatic breast cancer took her from this world at just 27 years old. Talking about her in the past tense doesn’t feel right yet, I don’t know if it ever will.
What I do know is that she had an unquenchable thirst for life and always lived it to the fullest. Michelle had the most enchanting smile and the most infectious laugh. We used to laugh together until we cried. Now, I cry—until I realize how ridiculous she’d think I was being and then laugh at myself the way I know she would have. I long for the day that I’m going to wake up from this terrible dream even though I know this is my new reality.
I’ve learned a couple things since her passing. First, grief is a tough road to navigate and there is no right way to do it. I still have her empty travel size body wash in my bathtub. Having it there makes me smile. I know its weird, grief is weird. I’ve learned to cry it out when I need to, even in front of strangers. Turns out, lots of people have lost their Michelle too. Some people just get it. I like to share her story because it might help just one person who needs to seek a second opinion, or push their doctor for further testing.
I miss her every single day and think about her often. I talk to her out loud and find ways to bring her up in conversation. I grieve however I need to in that moment. Our love was a platonic one, but it was love nonetheless. In 2019, I am going to continue to share her story and volunteer for organizations that she benefited from during her battle. It helps me feel close to her. I love that feeling.
Written by: Jessica Fix
To follow Jessica on Instagram you can find her at @Isneakpictures
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