Dumpster Fire Response Team Member Pen

Writes in black ink

Green barrel and orange cap

Made in the USA

Brand: Hilarious Humanitarian

1 pen: Official Response Team Pen:

$2.75 for one pen. No discount.

Perfect for signing documents, writing to-do lists, and taking notes on all the nonsense you absolutely did not sign up for.

5-Pack: Rookie Responder Kit

Discount: 13% --> $12 total

Five trusty pens for new recruits of the Dumpster Fire Response Team. Great for sharing with fellow chaos-survivors or keeping stashed everywhere disasters tend to strike (your desk, your car, the void, etc.).

10-Pack Fully Equipped Squad Set:

Discount 16% --> $23 total

Ten pens for when you and your inner circle are constantly putting out metaphorical fires. Perfect for offices, friend groups, or anyone who whispers “I don’t get paid enough for this” at least twice a day.

20-Pack Emergency Deployment Bundle:

Discount 20% --> $44 total

Twenty pens for serious first responders of life’s daily dumpster fires. Whether you're stocking a workplace, gifting your team, or preparing for end-of-week chaos, this bundle ensures no crisis goes un-commented.

50-Pack Command Center Supply Crate:

Discount 27% --> $100 total

The ultimate bulk set for captains of the chaos. Fifty pens ready for mass distribution to coworkers, classes, volunteer squads, or your entire family group chat. Arm your people. The dumpster fires aren’t slowing down.